Blasts from the past can be exciting but more often than not they leave us feeling confused, anxious, and unsure of exactly what to expect or what we should do about this person’s sudden reappearance. When someone suddenly pops out of the woodwork there can be a multitude of reasons, and understanding why it is that they’ve chosen to contact is your first step towards deciding how to deal with the situation.
This is what I often refer to as getting ‘stuck in the rinse cycle’. Let’s say I dated someone some years back and the relationship always had a fairly imbalanced energy flow, in other words I was the giver and the object of my affection was pretty much a taker or non committal. After a number of years, he reappears, seemingly sorry, but it soon becomes clear that things are still the same, even years down the line.
Often times we’ll connect with someone and when things do not work out in the short term we choose to go our separate ways. After some time, the person we connected to may feel remorse, but unless some substantial growth has taken place, he or she is likely to repeat past patterns, and likely to draw you into the same situation, even if the reconnection happens years down the line. The motivation in a situation such as this is usually the needs of the other person, meaning he or she still ‘needs’ you for something or ‘need’ something from you but are either incapable or unwilling to give as much of themselves.
On occasion a reconnection or a sudden blast from the past may be preceded by genuine remorse and a desire to ask for someone’s forgiveness. In situations such as these, it’s best to forgive and move on, because once the act of forgiveness takes place it also removes the need to reconnect.
This is one of the more tricky situations because the sudden blast from the past doesn’t mean that this person is necessarily meant to be a part of your future but that you are meant to forgive or release them so that both of you can continue on without the restraints of negative energy or emotions.
Reconnecting for the Right Reasons
Sometimes, a reconnection happens for all the right reasons. It may mean that timing was off in the past or that one of you were somehow unavailable or not ready to connect on a deeper level and that things have since changed. If this happens, a true reconnection can occur and is definitely worth the time and energy. Friendships and romances that are renewed in this way have the power to last because both parties understand their role and are ready and willing to give of themselves to the extent needed to keep the connection strong.
Coming Full Circle
On the odd occasion, a blast from the past may be in order to bring a situation full circle. This could happen for a number of reasons. It could be to show you just how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve grown since this person left your life, or it could be to give you the opportunity to assert some boundaries or be the bigger person.
When this type of reconnection occurs, there’s often a deep remorse from one side and a need to share just what he or she has been through in the time you were not speaking to each other. What I’ve heard most often are tales of how this person found that life just went ‘bad’ somehow or that they experienced ‘bad luck’ or got hurt again and they remembered how their actions may have affected those they were close to. In other words, they realized just how their past actions have contributed to their own experiences.
This is truly karma at work and when you find someone re enters your life under similar circumstances, forgive them and release them to their karma. It’s not only the Universe’s way of bringing things full circle but also to show you that there’s a certain balance to things and that you’ve come a long way since those days.
How to Deal with a Blast from the Past
The initial contact may be a shock or you may feel tempted to jump right in in order to try and resuscitate the relationship or friendship, but before you get involved, take the time to talk to the other person in order to see what his or her motives truly are.
If you’re communicating with someone and you’re seeing old patterns repeat, ie, someone who knew you only when you were useful, and they suddenly come back round asking for your help, it may be time to sever the ties. If there’s a genuine desire to reconnect, allow them to meet you halfway and do some of the work needed to re establish that connection between you.
The trick to dealing with this type of situation is understanding exactly why this person chose to make contact with you again. If it’s purely to take advantage or to drain your energy, release them lovingly and move forward. It may well be that he or she hasn’t yet learned what they need to in order to be a positive part of your life.
In my experience blasts from the past serve a few purposes and if handled correctly, always bring a positive outcome, even if it’s in the form of insight into my own growth and personal progress. When dealing with a situation such as this, always trust your instincts. Your intuition will never steer you wrong and help you deal with the situation in a way that is both positive and healing.