Ask Atell: How to Protect Yourself against Negative Individuals or Energy Vampires

ask atellI’ve recently received this question from a reader and decided to use it as part of the ‘Ask Atell’ blog series.

Question: I’m working with a male colleague who makes me feel uneasy and instincts tell me I need to get away from – and I feel like he sucks my energy force- and somethings not quite right with the relationship he thinks he has with me but can’t quite put my finger on it, he operates in a grey area…. so I just feel like I need a bit more help to deal with him and keep him at bay a bit more.

Answer: When dealing with an individual or situation such as this, it’s important to set up some energy boundaries.  The sensation that he’s ‘sucking your energy’ means that he’s subconsciously draining you and this is also a part of why you’ve been feeling so exhausted recently.  If you ever feel or suspect that a certain person or situation is negatively affecting you, start grounding and shielding regularly to ensure that you always work from a protected space, energetically speaking. You’ll most likely find that doing this keeps his influence to a minimum and that you’re able to do what you need to without being affected by or distracted by his energy or intentions.  Always trust your instincts, and if you feel someone operates in a grey area, as you put it, trust those instincts and do what you need to to protect yourself.  Remember that others can only affect us as much as we allow them to, so empowering yourself is really the first step in dealing with this situation in a positive way.

The links I’ve inserted above will take you to articles in grounding and shielding, work with those techniques on a daily basis and you’ll notice a difference almost immediately.

Grounding as a means of balancing and centering

12853918764_0bc00b6b0b_zGrounding is a very simple yet effective way to bring us back to the present or to center our energies, and while it’s desirable to be ungrounded in certain situations, it’s often not good to be ungrounded for extended periods of time.

What is Grounding?

The grounding process involves absorbing earth energy to bring us ‘back down to earth’, and to help center us within ourselves again.  It can also be used to help someone be fully present in the moment, and helps balance the energies within and around us.

When to Ground

The following are some of the symptoms you may experience when you are ungrounded:

Dizziness

Feeling ill

Heart Palpitations

Disorientation

Daydreaming

Brilliant Ideas that never materialize or that are never put into action

Clumsiness

Sensitivity to light and noise

Falling asleep while meditating

Forgetfulness

Inability to reason

Emotional imbalances

If you’re experiencing any of the above, it’s a good idea to ground to ensure that energy is distributed through and around your body evenly. When you’re ungrounded, energy tends to collect around the higher chakras and what is needed is earth energy to help balance that out, so that you’re brought back to an energetic balance as well.

How to Ground

One of the easiest ways to ground is to wriggle your toes or stamp your feet, and if you’re already familiar with the process of grounding, this may work very well with very little effort on your part. If you are unfamiliar with how to ground, you may want to use a longer process until you are more comfortable and familiar with the grounding sensation.

Sit quietly and take three deep breaths to help center yourself. Visualize a ball of energy at the base of your spine (or at the base chakra) and envision this light slowly spreading down into the earth. Imagining that you are a tree and you’re slowly sinking your roots deep into the earth is another good way to get the grounding process started.

Once you’ve connected to the earth, allow any negativity or negative energy to drain down into the earth where it can be transmuted and envision light traveling up the ‘roots’ into your body. Allow this energy to rise and fill you, centering and balancing you energetically.

When you feel sufficiently grounded, withdraw your energetic ‘roots’ and thank the Earth for her gifts and for her assistance.  When you’re ready, open your eyes and resume your day.

When grounding it’s important to send only negative energy into the earth, if you feel tired or drained after grounding yourself, you’ve given too much of your own energy. The key is to allow mother Earth to replenish your energy and to balance them out so that it has an ‘earthing’ effect on your body and energetic system.

Two other ways to ground are to hug trees (and release and absorb energy as needed through their root system) or to lay down on the bare earth or on a patch of grass. You should do whichever feels most comfortable to you and as with everything else, intention is everything, so if one particular method doesn’t work well for you, try another and try to make it your own by including visualizations or methods that resonate with you.

Grounding works well in combination with shielding, so before shielding always try to ground yourself as that strengthens the intent further.

 

 

How to Shield Yourself from Unwanted Energies, Influences, or Individuals

7500737172_abcc37f8f6_zLearning how to shield is important to help keep unwanted individuals, influences and energies from affecting us and ‘sticking’ to us.  First we’ll look at exactly what it means to shield yourself, when you should consider shielding, and a few ways to create this protective energy barrier around yourself.

What is shielding?

Shielding is a form of spiritual protection and what it means in its’ most basic terms is to create a protective energy barrier around yourself, in order to keep out any unwanted influences.  It’s a spiritual practice and isn’t related to any particular religion, but religious symbols can be incorporated to strengthen the intent if someone feels the need.

When to Shield

If you find yourself feeling very drained, anxious, sad, angry, or depressed without any logical explanation, chances are that you’re too open and that you’re either affected by the intent and energy of those around you, or you are subconsciously taking on some of the negative energy and emotions of people you come into contact with. For those of us who work with people on a daily basis, especially those who are in the healing or spiritual industries, need to shield on a daily basis to ensure that we are protected energetically.

There’s much talk about ‘energy vampires’ and the term itself seems almost supernatural but all it really is is someone who subconsciously draws in or ‘sucks’ the energy of those they are close to. These people may not even realize they’re doing it, but they feed on the energy of others in order to make themselves feel better. You’ll most likely know when you’ve been around someone like this because you’ll end up feeling very tired, drained, or negative after they leave.

How to Shield

There are numerous ways to shield and none is more powerful or more effective than the other. In my experience, intent really is everything and finding ways that help strengthen your individual intent is what you should do.

One of the easiest and most basic ways to shield if to use visualization.  Close your eyes and center yourself by taking three long deep breaths.  Envision a ball of white light forming around your heart chakra (the middle of your chest) and allow it to radiate outward, growing in size. Feel the energy growing and the ball or light enlarging until it surrounds you completely and you are entirely inside of it. You may choose to strengthen the intent by saying something like “Nothing but love and light shall enter.” I prefer this affirmation because it allows all that is of love and light to come through while repelling negative energy and entities.  You can also use this technique to shield your family members, your partner or child, your home, or even your car, because the energy forms a protective barrier around almost anything as long as the intent is there.

Some people choose to insert religious symbols into the ball of energy and to invoke the names of God or the Archangels while shielding. If the cross or any other spiritual or religious symbol holds specific significance for you, feel free to insert it below you, above you, and on all four sides.

You also have the option of calling on the Archangels to offer their protection. Archangel Michael is good to work with in situations where you are in need of protection and courage.

Crystals for Shielding

Crystals such as smokey quartz, obsidian, and labradorite can also be helpful in shielding someone energetically and sealing their aura to better protect themselves while transmuting negative energy into positive. If you’re considering working with a particular crystal, it needs to be cleansed, awakened and programmed prior to use to be effective. In situations such as these, it’s best to speak to a crystal healer or a light worker who can cleanse, awaken/activate and program the stone for you.

It’s important to shield at least once a day, especially if you are in constant contact with the energy of other individuals or when you are surrounded by people who are in lower states of vibration.  Shielding can also be effective when working in situations where the energy is low overall or where things tend to get very stressful or where there is disharmony.

 

 

 

Ask Atell: Spirit Visitations and Black Shadows

5247652315_58402957d7_zQuestion by Anon:  The problem I have has been coming along for a few years. I am visited by spirits at night, and at first their effect on me was quite intense but I’ve since gotten used to it. I can feel their energy, but can only see their shadows. I can’t communicate with them. What are they, and how can I open myself to communicate with them? Do they mean to harm me, or are they in need of help?

Answer: Best I can tell, the beings that visit you at night are low vibrational in nature – in layman’s terms, they’re not good.  They are not there to help you or to be helped but to feed off your own energy and your own fear. You mentioned that their initial effect on you was quite intense, and it’s natural for that to happen, as a low vibrational entity will cause fear, anxiety etc in someone who is of a different state of being.

Do not communicate them, unless that is the sort of energy you want to associate yourself with. Some form of telepathy would be needed to do that, but it’s not something I would advise you try.

These beings are not of the light, and they drain the energy of the people they visit. They feed on negative emotion or negative energy, and you’re most likely to find that they are around when you are depressed, sad, angry, or anxious.   They are not there to help you and you’re not able to help them.

The best course of action is to protect yourself energetically. Learn to ground and shield yourself before you go to bed in the evenings and also work on raising your own vibration. Light and dark cannot exist in the same place, so raising your own vibration as well as that of your home environment should help rid you of these visitations.

Lastly, always trust your instincts and if a visitation or spirit being scares you or makes you uncomfortable, immediately shield yourself so that you’re protected energetically. That along with raising your own vibration should help deter similar happenings.

 

Blasts from the Past: Reconnect or Release?

6464688535_4237ff09c4_zBlasts from the past can be exciting but more often than not they leave us feeling confused, anxious, and unsure of exactly what to expect or what we should do about this person’s sudden reappearance.  When someone suddenly pops out of the woodwork there can be a multitude of reasons, and understanding why it is that they’ve chosen to contact is your first step towards deciding how to deal with the situation.

Recurring Patterns

This is what I often refer to as getting ‘stuck in the rinse cycle’.  Let’s say I dated someone some years back and the relationship always had a fairly imbalanced energy flow, in other words I was the giver and the object of my affection was pretty much a taker or non committal.  After a number of years, he reappears, seemingly sorry, but it soon becomes clear that things are still the same, even years down the line.

Often times we’ll connect with someone and when things do not work out in the short term we choose to go our separate ways. After some time, the person we connected to may feel remorse, but unless some substantial growth has taken place, he or she is likely to repeat past patterns, and likely to draw you into the same situation, even if the reconnection happens years down the line. The motivation in a situation such as this is usually the needs of the other person, meaning he or she still ‘needs’ you for something or ‘need’ something from you but are either incapable or unwilling to give as much of themselves.

Finding Forgiveness

On occasion a reconnection or a sudden blast from the past may be preceded by genuine remorse and a desire to ask for someone’s forgiveness.  In situations such as these, it’s best to forgive and move on, because once the act of forgiveness takes place it also removes the need to reconnect.

This is one of the more tricky situations because the sudden blast from the past doesn’t mean that this person is necessarily meant to be a part of your future but that you are meant to forgive or release them so that both of you can continue on without the restraints of negative energy or emotions.

Reconnecting for the Right Reasons

Sometimes, a reconnection happens for all the right reasons. It may mean that timing was off in the past or that one of you were somehow unavailable or not ready to connect on a deeper level and that things have since changed.  If this happens, a true reconnection can occur and is definitely worth the time and energy.  Friendships and romances that are renewed in this way have the power to last because both parties understand their role and are ready and willing to give of themselves to the extent needed to keep the connection strong.

Coming Full Circle

On the odd occasion, a blast from the past may be in order to bring a situation full circle.  This could happen for a number of reasons. It could be to show you just how far you’ve come, and how much you’ve grown since this person left your life, or it could be to give you the opportunity to assert some boundaries or be the bigger person.

When this type of reconnection occurs, there’s often a deep remorse from one side and a need to share just what he or she has been through in the time you were not speaking to each other. What I’ve heard most often are tales of how this person found that life just went ‘bad’ somehow or that they experienced ‘bad luck’ or got hurt again and they remembered how their actions may have affected those they were close to. In other words, they realized just how their past actions have contributed to their own experiences.

This is truly karma at work and when you find someone re enters your life under similar circumstances, forgive them and release them to their karma.  It’s not only the Universe’s way of bringing things full circle but also to show you that there’s a certain balance to things and that you’ve come a long way since those days.

How to Deal with a Blast from the Past

The initial contact may be a shock or you may feel tempted to jump right in in order to try and resuscitate the relationship or friendship, but before you get involved, take the time to talk to the other person in order to see what his or her motives truly are.

If you’re communicating with someone and you’re seeing old patterns repeat, ie, someone who knew you only when you were useful, and they suddenly come back round asking for your help, it may be time to sever the ties.  If there’s a genuine desire to reconnect, allow them to meet you halfway and do some of the work needed to re establish that connection between you.

The trick to dealing with this type of situation is understanding exactly why this person chose to make contact with you again.  If it’s purely to take advantage or to drain your energy, release them lovingly and move forward.  It may well be that he or she hasn’t yet learned what they need to in order to be a positive part of your life.

In my experience blasts from the past serve a few purposes and if handled correctly, always bring a positive outcome, even if it’s in the form of insight into my own growth and personal progress.  When dealing with a situation such as this, always trust your instincts. Your intuition will never steer you wrong and help you deal with the situation in a way that is both positive and healing.

 

Furry Angels and Animals in the Afterlife

Over the Rainbow Anyone who has ever loved an animal will know that there hides far more behind those soulful eyes than a lot of people realize.  I’ve been lucky enough to share my life with many a four legged, furry, or feathered angel and each one has brought something unique to my life in his or her unique way.

Raven

Raven lived with us since her birth, she was born here and raised here, and had four beautiful years as part of our family.  Two nights ago, she was taken to the other side very unexpectedly and very suddenly.  She’s not the first ‘fur child’ we’ve had to give back to heaven, but she held a very special place in my heart and having lost her really made me ponder the afterlife and what it is that happens to our beloved pets when they cross over.

Animals have Souls

I remember a puppy we lost when I was around 9 years of age. He was only with us for about 3 months but we loved that little guy so much.  I was in church one Sunday and it occurred to me that I didn’t know whether he would be in Heaven or not, so I asked.  I was told that animals do not have souls and therefore they cannot go to heaven.  That was devastating news, and since then I intuitively felt that that could not really be the way things were. Why would a Higher power create such beautiful and loving beings and not give them souls?

Bella

Since then, I’ve learned that animals have souls, they connect with us every bit as much as we do with them.  I have had numerous experiences that showed me beloved pets were still watching over me from the other side or guarding me in Spirit.  We lost a beautiful boerboel pup, Bella, at the age of five months. We had to hand rear her from about 9 days old as her mother was unable to take care of her, so she really was our ‘baby’. After her passing I woke one night to the sound of a largeish dog trotting down the corridor towards our bedroom.  I immediately sensed that it was her, and knew that she wanted me to know she was there.

Confirmation from Spirit

I’ve also been shown animals in spirit form by my Father shortly after his passing. I do not work as a medium professionally but have been able to connect on occasion and often receive messages from departed loved ones in my sleep.  He showed me something similar to a candle flame but much brighter.  He also told me that our pets were with him and he referred to a dog my Mother and him owned just before I was born, which just confirms that the ties of love are never broken, not even when a fur child crosses over.

I’ve had signs and have sensed Raven with us since her passing, and she’s as sweet and as gentle as ever. I was working on a painting in the garage when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a large dog trotting towards me. My first instinct was to reach behind me and I almost said “Hello little Raven”, when I looked behind me and realized it was Odey. In that moment, I still felt Raven with me and I know that she’s watching over us even now. It still difficult seeing Odey and Elsa on their own and instinctively I almost expect Raven to join them, but I know she’s still with us, and them, in spirit.

IMAG1548

On the occasions when I miss her too much, all I need to do is go outside. Elsa and Odey are waiting, more often than not, ready to comfort and to lick away the tears. I have realized that each and every pet we own or ‘fur child’ we bring into our lives is really on loan from the other side or heaven, and sooner or later they have to return, but the time we get to spend with them is a blessing and each and every day is worth being grateful for.

 

 

Energy Exchange and the Art of Enforcing Boundaries

Image Credit: Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/kwl/

Image Credit: Flickr
https://www.flickr.com/photos/kwl/

I spent the day yesterday with a friend and I was blessed with some insightful revelations during our time together. One of the topics we touched on was the art of setting boundaries and energy exchange, and this has been somewhat a recurring theme for me over the last few weeks.  I’ve been wondering where to actually start with this blog post, so here goes. Boundaries: we all have them, but are we truly enforcing them?

Empaths and Boundaries

Being empathic means that you’re very ‘plugged into’ or in tune with the emotions of others, and the end result is, more often than not, wanting to help, comfort, or please others, so that they’ll feel better.  I’ve had so many instances where I felt guilty for not being able to help more, or to give more, or to be more to the various souls that cross my path, and subconsciously I suspect I was even beating myself up over it.

I believe that empaths give more, because we want to be surrounded by happy energy, and we want the world to be a better, happier, and brighter place.  This in turn tends to blur the lines between giving within our boundaries and giving more.

Energy Exchange

‘Energy exchange’ has been one of those phrases that were hard for me to really put to work in my life and what it means, in it’s most basic form, is that we should give and receive in equal measure.  In other words, we have to allow others to exchange their energy for ours.  Energy takes various forms, there’s time, there’s affection, there’s service to others, there are physical objects or gifts, or even currency.

Allowing someone to participate fully in the energy exchange enriches their own lives, and I’ve been learning that by taking the opportunity away from someone to do so, through giving too much too freely, I’m doing them and myself a disservice.  Both parties need to be active and take part in the exchange to benefit from it.

Understanding the Signs

Frustration is one of the biggest signs that someone needs to set boundaries and enforce them in order to be happier and to feel that sense of flow and balance in their own lives.  I found myself burning out, feeling frustrated, unhappy, depressed, and angry and couldn’t quite figure out why, until it hit me: I wasn’t setting or enforcing proper boundaries.

This was not just true in the professional sense, but also in a personal capacity.  The urge to please others and to ensure that they are happier, took a toll on me because that became my sole focus. This bled over into my work as well and the demands and expectations of others weighed more heavily on me because I not only felt their expectations but enforced it on myself as well (Talk about a double whammy!)

I found myself giving, and giving, and giving, and bending over backwards to please, but I was doing so from a place of frustration.  I learned that I wasn’t giving because I wanted to, but because I felt I was being forced to.  Giving from a place of joy brings more joy, because whatever you send out multiplies, and I was multiplying my own frustration and anger at feeling powerless.

One of the biggest signs of clues to understanding whether you’re sticking within your boundaries is to check how you feel.  Are you doing or giving with joy, an open heart, and a happy attitude? Or are you feeling trapped, angry, frustrated, or violated? If the latter describes your state of being at the very time of giving, you shouldn’t give.  Feeling negatively is just one way you’re letting yourself know that it’s time to start honoring your own needs and that there’s imbalance in the give/take of energy.

Setting Boundaries

We all have boundaries tucked away in our ‘inner cupboards’ somewhere, hidden away where they hardly ever see the light of day.  I found myself digging mine out and dusting them off to have a fresh look at how I would like to live my life and what I need in order to feel better about where I’m at and what I’m doing.

Setting a boundary can be as simple as just learning to say No.  This is such a basic principle that it works in pretty much any area of life. Relationships, money, work, family, all you need to do is say No and give yourself permission to do so.

What I’m trying to share is that if you’re unhappy and finding yourself in that frustrated or depressed place, look at your boundaries and whether you’re truly honoring them.  If not, make a few changes and see how it changes the way you feel.  For me, this particular realization was a huge eye opener, because I believed that, on some level, I am meant to be giving the way I was.  It brings to mind the saying “One cannot serve from an empty vessel”.  If your own boundaries are honored, and your own vessel is full, there will be more than enough to serve not only yourself, but others as well.